Having returned from holiday (which was brilliant) just yesterday with a stinking cold, I'm feeling a bit bleuuurrrggg (and yes that is a word!) ... I am really struggling to get back into work mode. I've caught up with a few people, piddled around with some admin and meeting date planning - but not really feeling as if I've done anything really constructive.
Last week I went to the Holy Island of Lindisfarne and gazed for hours at the sea ... I took many photo's including this one...
As I sit and look at that photo, I can see myself in it ... either as the piece of wood in the sea - with the sea dancing around it - but it still not moving ... or alternatively the other pieces of wood which are standing around waiting for something to happen (as the tide comes in they also are engulfed in the sea). Either way, I feel as if's I'm in a waiting game ... and not particularly because we have decided to leave York next year (I'll blog about that later!)
However, I have learnt that when I feel like this - the best thing to do - is to find time to be with God as it's often that it has been a while since I did so. People might think it strange that having spent a day on Holy Island - I need to do that, but I was with Andrew and whilst I would completely agree that God was there, and it is a spiritual place, it was something we did together. I haven't got a very busy couple of days (helped by my cold which means I'm not visiting people) and sunday is already sorted and so it is easy (for a change) to carve out some time to read and reflect .....
And so I've begun by picking up a book written by David Adam (of Lindisfarne fame!) called the Rhythm of life .... and turned to the Friday lunchtime liturgy which includes the following readings:
"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us"
Romans 5: 6-8 (NRSV)
"He had no form or majesty that we should look at him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by others; a man of suffering and acquainted with infirmity; and as one from whom others hide their faces he was despised, and we held him of no account. Surely he has borne our infirmities and carried our diseases; yet we accounted him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are healed. Isaiah 53: 2-5 (NRSV)
Both passages, for me a perfect reminder of God's love for me and my reason for being ... There hasn't been a flash of lightening and I don't feel any different at the moment - but i'm off to ponder and reflect on those verses ... and his love for me and simply enjoy the time and space to be :-)